What Not to Do With Your Money in 2026

By Olivia Penner
(Please note this piece is entirely satirical and is not meant to provide financial advice nor to make light of real financial struggle.)

We’re doing things differently this year and instead of looking at how to build wealth, we’re looking at the fastest way to destroy it. Join me as I explore the route to achieving pennilessness in 2026. I have distilled the process down to 8 simple steps so you can follow along. Here is the roadmap to blowing all our money in 2026! 

1. Live Beyond Our Means. Buy a house we can’t afford! Get the expensive car we don’t need. Take the vacation we’ll never be able to pay off. Budgeting? What’s that? 
2. Rack Up Bad Debt. Max out that credit card! Use that overdraft. It’s not like we’ll have to pay it back, right? 
3. Bet That Life Won’t Kick Me. Who needs insurance?* There’s no way we’ll need it. Disasters just go around us, after all. 
4. Don’t Save for Emergencies. See point 3. Why waste money on preparing when we’ll never need it? 
5. Avoid Growing Earning Potential. Education and training are a waste of time and money. Who cares if we could make more? It’s not like human capital is the most important investment of our life. 
6. Not Planning for Taxes. The bill won’t come due till April, I’m sure we’ll have the money by then. 
7. Dismissing Inflation. Sure, things get more expensive every year and it’s harder to make ends meet. But we’re living beyond our means anyway, right? 
8. Avoid Investing for the Future. Oh for sure, our future selves will be able to retire. They’ll be rich. How? Eh, that’s a problem for our future selves. 

So easy! Who knew the ride toward poverty would be such an easy, slippery slope? Best of luck in 2026, everyone! 

(In seriousness, if you see yourself in this, please reach out to us, we are here to help!)

This information has been prepared by Olivia Penner who is an Associate Advisor for iA Private Wealth Inc. Opinions expressed in this article/post are those of the Associate Advisor only and do not necessarily reflect those of iA Private Wealth Inc. iA Private Wealth Inc. is a member of the Canadian Investor Protection Fund and the Canadian Investment Regulatory Organization. iA Private Wealth is a trademark and business name under which iA Private Wealth Inc. operates.

*Insurance products and services are offered through 6811583 Manitoba Ltd, an independent and separate company from iA Private Wealth Inc. Only products and services offered through iA Private Wealth Inc. are covered by the Canadian Investor Protection Fund.